"MAIL CALL!"

At times I have taken a lot of responsibility for the ministry that God has put me in. Like, if it's going to happen, it's up to me!  I've had various roles that have made that position magnified. Pastors daughter, pastors wife, overachiever. You get the idea. Sometimes I get pretty…um…grumpy. Yeah. That's what we'll call it. Ha! I'm not sure why I do that. Maybe I'm a control freak. Or I feel like this ministry would be better if I just 'handled' it.

But, I got a little word from God yesterday via the Bishop TD Jakes. He was being interviewed by the famous Oprah Winfrey. During their conversation she asked if he was overwhelmed by the huge church he pastored. He said, "No. I'm the mailman, I'm not the mail." Whoa. Truth bomb. 

It reminds me of something my husband Brian's told me a few times--(A FEW times? How stubborn am I??? lol)--"God isn't accepting applications for the fourth member of the Trinity." Hm…Painful. 

Yes. I'm that kind of girl. I forget. I get overwhelmed and take on too much. I ask God for help. He GRACIOUSLY steps in to HIS ministry and makes things flow beautifully and then inevitably I say, "Thanks! I got it from here!" And the cycle continues. Why? Why do I not learn this lesson? 

This is a serious problem. I have been on Short Term Disability for migraines and exhaustion since November. I have been benched. That means I am totally out of control and for the first time I've had to let God be totally in control. I can't lie and say it's been easy. It's been really hard. And for the first time I can't say, "Thanks! I got it from here!" because I have no idea what the future holds. 

Will I get to go back to work and if I do, when? (btw…does anyone know if God has email? I'd love to just send Him an--nevermind.) 

This whole journey for me has been about just what Bishop Jakes talked about. Can I JUST be the mailman and let God be the mail? Because God has a million ways to use me.  Whether I'm exhausted with a migraine (like now) or I am feeling great. He can use me. Just like He can use you. He's not confined to our small brain thinking. 

So…today… I am grateful that he hasn't stopped my migraines and exhaustion yet. Or I wouldn't have realized that I need to be the mailman. And I can stop trying to run the world. He apparently has enough help. :)